Radio ads
I love working on radio scripts, especially when you can have a bit of fun with them. Here are a selection of my favourite scripts I’ve written over the years (some ran, some didn’t).
Client: Sunderland Aquatic Centre (UK)
Title: I’m off, Mam
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Boy: I’m going to the baths, Mam.
Mam: Okay, Son. Enjoy yourself.
SFX: Door shuts.
(Pause)
SFX: Door opens.
Boy (now speaking with a deep man’s voice): I’m back, Mam.
MVO: The Sunderland Aquatic Centre. With the biggest pool in the North East, it could take you longer to do your laps than you realise.
Dive in today.
Client: Sunderland Aquatic Centre (UK)
Title: It’s bigger than you think
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Mam: Got your armbands?
Boy: Aye.
Mam: Got your goggles?
Boy: Aye.
Mam: Got your trunks and towel?
Boy: Aye.
Mam: Got your life raft and distress flare?
MVO: The Sunderland Aquatic Centre. With the biggest pool in the North East, you can swim, and swim, and swim, and swim, and swim, and swim (fade)
Dive in today.
Client: Esso (Luxembourg)
Title: Lost your mind
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SFX: We hear a bunch of keys being picked up.
MVO: I’m going to fill up the car at Esso.
FVO: Please take me with you…pleeeaaase!
MVO: (Puzzled) It’s a petrol station.
FVO: (Serious) Oh no…it’s so much more than a petrol station.
MVO: No, it’s where I get fuel…and de-icer, and screen wash…
FVO: (Excited)…and up to 75% off my favourite luxury perfume!
MVO: (Even more puzzled) Perfume? Errr…okaaay? Have you lost your mind?
Brand VO: She hasn’t lost her mind. You can get up to 75% off top designer fragrances at Esso this season.
Go on, spray a little happiness with Esso – see in store or visit esso.lu for details.
Client: Esso (Luxembourg)
Title: Mission possible
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SFX: Gentle background music plays, couple driving in car
MVO: If your partner is sat in the car with you, ask them to put their head out of the window for the next 30 seconds.
(Slight pause, then…)
SFX: The background music stops sharply – Mission Impossible style music kicks in
MVO: (Read with great urgency) …okay, now concentrate.
You need to get to Esso as soon as possible, because our incredible designer perfume offer is back on.
Spend €100 before the end of August on fuel, and you’ll get up to 75% off top luxury fragrances.
Got that? Good.
Now retrieve your partner, before their face freezes
SFX: Mission Impossible style music stops sharply – gentle background – music plays again
Brand VO: Spray a little happiness with Esso this season – see in store or visit esso.lu for details.
Client: Esso (Luxembourg)
Title: Surprise me
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SFX: we hear the jangle of a bunch of keys.
MVO: I’m going to fill up the car at Esso, can I get you anything?
FVO: Surprise me.
SFX: alarm klaxon – 2-4 quick sharp bursts
Brand VO: Last time Chloé said that, Philippe returned with an air freshener and a bag of nuts.
Chloé made Philippe sleep on the couch for a week.
SFX: Front door opening
MVO: I’m back.
FVO: Well? What did you get me?
(Slight pause)
MVO: (tentatively) Your favourite perfume.
SFX: giggling, kissing sounds
Brand VO: Bravo, Philippe.
Get up to 75% off his and her designer fragrances at Esso when you spend €100 on fuel.
Go on, spray a little happiness this festive season – see in store or visit esso.lu for details.
Client: Deliveroo (Australia)
Title: Office girls
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SFX: Ambient office background noise
GIRL #1: Can’t believe we’ve got to man the office over lunch.
GIRL #2: I know, it sucks.
GIRL #1: Our taste buds could still travel though.
GIRL #2: Good plan! Let’s go to South Africa and order something spicy from Nandos.
GIRL #1: Or how about the fiery Mexican flavours of Guzman y Gomez.
GIRL #2: We could always try The Yiros Shop for the cool, fresh tastes of Greece.
GIRL #1: Seriously! The Yiros Shop is on Deliveroo too? I love Greek!
GIRL #2: Me too! And Deliveroo’s a lot cheaper than a plane ticket!
SFX: They both laugh
BRAND VO: Download the app and get your favourite restaurant food delivered superfast, straight to your door. Only on Deliveroo. Eat more amazing.
Client: Amazing Tunes (UK)
Title: Granny Luv
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SFX: Rap music track, Granny Luv singing her heart out
FVO: (rapping granny, gravely voice)
Comin’ at yer from my Granny flat
Ain’t no one ever call me an old bat
Tea on the boil, sandwich wrapped in foil
You could be my Prince if you like a purple rinse
Got me meals on wheels, got really veiny heels
I’m hot to fox trot, and you’re in with a shot
What’s my name again?
(crowd chant) Granny Luv!
What’s my name again?
(crowd chant) Granny Luv!
SFX: Scratch noise as needle is ripped from record.
MVO: People of Britain, we need you to prevent this record from hitting the charts.
But the only way you can stop her is to vote for your favourite unsigned band at amazingtunes.com
The band with the most votes will win our competition, and go on to play at a festival, work with a top producer, and get their music heard on the radio.
Please, don’t let us down.
ME + RADIO:
SCRIPTS - CREATIVE DIRECTION